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Instead, Markle and Prince Harry each declared that they would love, comfort, honor, protect and be faithful to the other, and then vowed to have, to hold, to love and to cherish. That change to the traditional verbiage has evolved over the course of many decades, building on a service that has changed in many other ways too.
So where does the evolution begin? English history before that point included many different ways of solemnizing a marriage, from the Catholic mass to the more casual medieval practice of merely announcing consent to be married to traditional Anglo-Saxon-origin wedding vows , which today sound both familiar and rather colorful.
The Book of Common Prayer that was developed during the Reformation used the Sarum Rite as one of its sources, including for the wedding service.
In the original Book of Common Prayer, the vows for the wife are slightly different than those for the man: he promises to love, comfort, honor and keep her; she promises to love, honor and keep, but also to obey and serve. That prayer book influenced many other English-language Church services, so those phrases pop up all over the place.
As liturgical studies expert Bryan Spinks wrote in a article on marriage in the Church of England , wedding services within the Church of England have long been basically just revisions of the 16th century Book of Common Prayer wedding, at least until a more radical experimental liturgy was introduced as an option in the s. When Queen Elizabeth married Prince Philip in , there had been some public debate over whether a future Queen ought to be promising to obey anyone.
But she decided that regardless of her role as Queen, her role as wife would be traditional. As TIME noted in its coverage of the marriage:. The vow of obedience was based on Ephesians and First Peter , where wives are commanded to be in subjection to their husbands. In New Testament times the position of the Christian wife was similar to that of the three young men.
Today many marriage counselors and pastors regard the vow of obedience as an anachronism. They argue that the husband-wife relationship taught in the Scripture is culturally conditioned. Since it was fitting in Bible times for a woman to be submissive to her husband, they say, Christians were enjoined to follow this principle to avoid scandalizing the non-Christian community. The Apostle Paul, who says a good deal about the husband-wife relationship, does not appeal to the cultural norm as the basis of his command to the Christian wife to submit—or, it might be added, his command to women in the church to submit to the male leadership.
His commands are founded on timeless spiritual principles. For example, in First Timothy —15 he exhorts the women in the church to learn in all silence with subjection. Two reasons. He teaches that the believer, at the moment of salvation, becomes a member of the Body of Christ. Paul then draws an analogy.
As Christ is the Saviour and Sanctifier of his body, the Church, so the husband is savior and sanctifier of the woman who is united to him in marriage. Just as Christ is the head of the Body, the Church, the husband is to be the head of the union of two people in marriage, who, says Paul, become one flesh as Christ and the Church are. Why from his rib? Why was she not created from the dust of the ground as Adam was? God did not create woman to stand as a second Adam, that is, as a second type of humanity, free to determine her own destiny apart from Adam.
Paul develops this principle in his theology of Christian marriage. When a man and woman marry they become one flesh. The Christian woman considering marriage has a serious decision to make. Shall she insist on maintaining a separate independent identity by remaining single, or shall she find her fulfillment as a woman by becoming one flesh with a man, functioning as his helper as did Eve?
If this is indeed the biblical basis for Christian marriage, then it would seem that the marriage ceremony ought to reflect the uniqueness of Christian marriage. Historically this uniqueness was found in the marriage vows of the bride and the groom. While the man vowed to love and honor his wife, the woman was asked to vow that she would love, honor, and obey her husband.
Inclusion of the vow to obey, if it is to be meaningful, must be preceded by adequate instruction. The bride must understand that the vow is not ceremonial. In premarital counseling sessions she must be taught the submissive role of the Christian wife. The minister has an excellent opportunity in the wedding ceremony itself to instruct the guests in the uniqueness of Christian marriage. Women today are less inclined to vow obedience than they were in years past.
Women need not feel threatened. God has provided safeguards for the woman in Christian marriage.
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